Every Friday, Saturday and Sunday I find myself dressing in your clothes. I find myself snooping around your hobbit hole. And that's only the start of my obsessive behavior. Observe me long enough and you'll find me trying to relive your amazing adventures. It's obsessive and it's weird and I had to write to you to confess. I've even grown mutton chops in an effort to feel more like you. Did you even have mutton chops? I digress...
The actual point of this letter is to thank you. My obsession with you (and with the events of your life) has actually been revelatory. Below, I have listed my top three favorite lessons I have learned from you. I hope you find this charming rather than freaky.
Baggins Life Lesson # 1
~”There is a lot more in you than you have any idea of”~
I'm pretty sure Gandalf says that to you. I think there might be more within me than I know. I think there might be more within all of us. Bilbo, you have inspired me to throw myself into situations that will test my character and reveal my true potential. #YOLO
Baggins Life Lesson # 2
~”Go forward. Only thing to do.”~
When you found yourself alone in a dark and wet cave, you made the decision to continue moving forward. That led you to Gollum, and eventually to THE RING! I guess you never know how close you are to finding your personal treasure and while the path may seem dark and wet, you have GOT to keep going. To quote FLORENCE + THE MACHINE: “It's always darkest before the dawn”.
Baggins Life Lesson # 3
~”If all of us valued food and cheer above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world” ~
I mean, COME ON. Can't you just taste the truth in these words? It sometimes (always) feels like the green paper floating around this country CONTROLS everything. Let's just take a second to bake an apple pie and make merry with our neighbors!
Pie Crust: $2.50
Apples: Free (because in this fantasy I have an apple tree in my backyard)
Bag of Ground Cinnamon: $2.90
An evening full of laughter and cheer: PRICELESS
Well Bilbo, I guess this is where I stop. Thanks again for teaching me some things. If you ever find yourself in Boston or New York, please let me know. I'd love to get tea.